Stressed out students

You’ve probably heard of the mental health day: taking a day off work to rest, recharge or do something you love. It’s a form of self-care, one that's become more common in the last few years to help alleviate burnout. But if you have kids in school and notice they seem worn down, should you give them a mental health day too?

Vivian Pinner, a licensed mental health counselor with Baptist Behavioral Health, has a background working as a school administrator and counselor. She said our nation’s students are living in a particularly stressful time.

“Schools is back in session, but it’s still disturbed by COVID-19. Their social lives and sports have been unsettled. There’s a war in Ukraine and they’re seeing images of kids who look like them, but are hurting,” Pinner said. “This is the season for standardized testing. Parents’ stress trickles down. These feelings are coming from all different areas of life.”

Mental health days: yay or nay?

Pinner said it’s up to parents to determine whether a mental health day is right for their child. For some kids, it can do more harm than good.

“Consider how much stress may be laid on them to make up the work, or how it may affect kids with learning disabilities,” she said. “It’s much easier to miss elementary school. When you get into middle and high school, they’re covering material rapidly and there are exams to pass. If your child isn’t at the age or stage where he or she can take a day off, we need to be cognizant of different ways to teach our kids self-care.”

For other kids, a day off really can be helpful.

“Every child is wired differently. Some are more anxious than others, and with those kids, it helps to be dialed in to their needs. Know your child and keep an open dialogue about what’s going on,” said Pinner.

Signs of stress

The first thing that could alert you your child is overwhelmed is their demeanor, followed closely by changes in eating and sleeping habits.

“Most kids I know, when they’re stressed, a couple of things happen: they get irritable and short-tempered,” Pinner said. “Emotional difficulty affects our bodies. Is your child not eating or overeating? Are they having trouble falling asleep? Are they spending a lot more time in their room and isolating themselves? Do they tend to blow up or pull away?”

A more permanent solution

If you decide your kiddo just needs a day of rest, here’s how Pinner recommended you make the most of it:

“Model and encourage kids to have fun and play, without screen time involved. Sometimes, if you take away a kid’s phone, their anxiety goes through the roof because that’s their way of connecting. If we’re trying to relieve stress, that’s not the goal, and it can feel like a punishment. Encourage family time or outdoor time that isn’t focused on screens.”

The best way to help your children learn how to control their stress is for the adults in their lives to lead by example. While the occasional mental health day can help, building healthy habits into daily life is the real long-term solution.

“The biggest thing is to model for your kids what kindness to yourself looks like,” said Pinner. “Allow yourself some downtime and let your child see you have those quiet moments. Take a walk in nature or go exercise, and teach them it’s OK to carve out time for yourself.”

If you notice something is wrong, start a conversation about the source of their stress.

“If you see your kid acting differently and you're concerned, ask open-ended questions, like, ‘I notice you’ve been in your room a lot. What things are putting pressure on you right now?’”

By staying aware of the pressures kids are under, caring for ourselves and openly discussing difficulties, you can help your child learn how to make every day a mental health day.

Wolfson Children’s has tools to support children’s mental health and help kids and teens navigate challenges with confidence and care. To learn more, click here.